Letters to Andrew: Mum

Editors Note:

The Foundation has now officially been born. To introduce ourselves, the trustees, we decided to each write a letter to Andrew to talk to him and tell him what we’re up to. 

These letters have made us laugh, cry, to feel inspired to work together and to enjoy what we’re doing. We hope that you can glean something from them of what we’ve experienced in losing Andrew and why we are wanting to make a go of The Andrew Gidney Foundation.

Dear Andrew,

Mum here again… Life here goes on and I still love you and miss you; I will never not.

Although, as I’m sure you’ll remember, I am usually busy keeping my mind occupied, I will find time to talk to you, as I always tried to when you were here. I love talking to you.

Since you’ve left us we’ve had a bug hit the world. You’d think it was something out of a sci-fi novel, but no, it happened for real. We were given updated sets of rules by prime minister Boris Johnson; bet you didn’t see that one coming – ‘tub of lard’ on Have I got news for you?! Another unbelievable truth. These rules included to stay at home, not to go to the pub and to stand 2 metres away from anyone you didn’t live with. There were even stickers all over the floor in parks and shops telling you were to stand and walk.

I often think what you’d make of it all, a little like a story written by Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, Shaun of the Dead, with zombies invading and the government telling us how to kill them. I’m so sad I couldn’t share those times with you. I think your take on it all would have been very philosophical, with a little wry smile on your lips showing us that you thought everyone had gone completely bonkers.

But then again, I don’t think I really understood what you thought.

I know you would have stuck to the rules to the T as you never wanted to upset anyone, or do wrong, and would have clearly understood and possibly research in depth what the lockdown and bug were all about.

Such a bright young man, with so much potential.

I also wonder where you’d be now if you hadn’t left us. I can see you in a well paid position in a small computer firm, handling client enquiries and selling the latest gadget and gizmo to them, and sorting out their software problems. You’d organise everyone in the firm as you did when you were at university undertaking your group IT projects. Your leadership skills amazed me, as did the number of friend and admirers you had. I don’t think you realised how many, and it’s a very sad lesson to us all to let those that we love and admire know – otherwise we may miss the wonderful opportunity of developing a relationship that would make us and many others happy.

Since you’ve left us, I’ve grown around the massively painful hole that you left in me – it’s still gaping but not so visible to others. Doing for others has become my way of going on. In my work and pastoral activities. And I try to find time for me – but I still feel guilty that I’m not helping someone. That someone is me but I think I’m still beating myself up with ‘What if’s and ‘If only’s . It’s like going through a tunnel full of creepers and trying to stop them from pulling me back. Strength will move me on and get me through but I doubt I’ll ever quite reach the sunlight at the other end.

My biggest bug bear of the world is communication – and I suppose it stems from not being able to talk to you anymore. But no, it’s from the world being too busy and goal orientated to just stop and be and to talk meaningfully with each other – and listen.

I did listen Andrew, but I don’t think we were connecting. I’ve learnt a lot since you’ve left us, dug and searched but I still don’t know if I could have stopped you.

In an effort to make amends, in your name we have decided to help projects for and with young people to improve skills, sociability and have a good time….in our area…..not a bus or car drive away, when independence is lost with the Mum-taxi.

We want to bring more art and creativity for young people to Saddleworth. Do you remember the computer place in Oldham (Hack Oldham) that we went to see? It was always too far away. You needed a place like that near your friends – so you could hang out and laugh. That’s the sort of place that would be awesome to have.

… but your mum doesn’t always know what’s right for you.

But if we can help projects like that we could possibly bring more young people together and give them some autonomy.

So we’ve set up The Andrew Gidney Foundation. Watch this space as to what we achieve.

I love you so much Andrew.

Mum xxxx

Simon Pegg and Nick Frost on Covid: